Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Confirmed: PHASE.

So thanks to the ladies on the Everything Breastfeeding Board .  They confirmed that yes, all this silly sleeping nonsense is indeed a phase, and shall too pass. I am comforted by this. Last night was a little better, I feel more rested than I have in a few days. I also was more calm and patient last night then I have been. Well, until 5:30 this morning.I hate when he gets me up that early. I need to be up to get things done, but OH what I would not give to sleeeeep a little bit longer. On the other hand, what a neat feeling to know that my baby boy needs me, needs my milk, and loves to nurse. Somehow that makes it ok. Even in the throughs of my early morning temper tantrums (yes, I have honest to goodness temper tantrums) I realize that he is not trying to torture me, but rather just lovin' hims mommy.

Everit was up a few times last night too.. and with NO guilt whatsoever I forced Andy to get out of bed and deal with it. It took me 2 years and another kid to prove to myself that I do not need to be the ONLY person doing night time parenting, but I have crossed that boundary line and I feel  better for it. Andy may not, but I certainly do.

Everit was (is) the worst sleeper in the history of children. It was not until he was nearly 20 months old did he sleep through the night. And when I say sleep through the night, I mean this child would wake and cry upwards of 8-10 times per night, every night. Co-sleeping never helped. Stuffies, music, and every other sleeping solution failed miserably. The only thing that worked on him was the infamous "Cry it out" method, which is painful for everyone involved.  He really left a scar on my psyche... and I feel like sometimes Dalton pays for his brother's inability to sleep peacefully. It is a never ending battle I fight within myself to remain calm and cool and not let the frustration boil to the surface.

But in all honesty it has been 3 consecutive years that I have not slept through the night myself. No exageration there... not even a mild exageration. If I wasn't dealing with a screaming child I was dealing with pregnancy insomnia. I have not had the pleasure of even ONE full, uninterrupted nights sleep since I became pregnant with Everit 3 years ago THIS WEEK. I try to take it easy on myself and not buy into the guilt, as it is very obvious I have a reason to be a little cranky in the wee hours of the morning!

This week will be trying, as Grandma and Grandpa are having their garage sale this weekend. We have 2 short days to price items, organize, hang clothes, make signs and clean out the remaining cupboards. Whew. I am So thankful in so many ways I am able to help (and be helped financially) but I am gonna be a pile of exhausted goo by Sunday.


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