Im only a little crazy...

I wish that I could say he was Exclusively breastfeed. I want to say that, but still, no. Now, I haven't pumped in about 36 hours. I just keep putting him to the breast. Whether or not this is gonna kill my supply I guess we just won't know. But he seems to be emptying my breasts well, as long as I am getting him on every 1- 1/2 hours or so.

He is back to his 6 hour stretch at night again. Which means he goes down around 9, and not a peep until about 3 am. Its LOVELY to sleep like that but there is a catch to it. The 3 am feed never goes well. For whatever reason, at this hour he completely forgets how to latch on, and just makes a huge mess of it all. Its not an engorgement issue, as I do not get that swollen any more. Usually we fight it for a good 20 minutes before he finally realizes whats going on, and then he eats. It has been VERY difficult for me not to cave and give him a bottle and just pump. But I have been persevering. This is the only time he can eat from my breast and actually get full... I want him to know that feeling of being full from the breast so he begins to trust it again.

Which brings me to my next idea: I think I may start doing his supplement BEFORE we BF, and here is why... I was reading in my Low Milk Supply book that it can help the baby gain confidence at the breast. After a while he will understand that MOMMY is making him full and happy, not the bottle. This can be especially effective for kiddos like Dalton who tend to pass out on the breast quickly and never finish a feed. I *think* that he has come to understand that if I just suck on Mom for a bit and make her happy I will get my baba and I can feel full. Well, I aim to change that if at all possible. While I realize I may not have a full supply, I know that I have MORE to offer than what he (or the pump) takes.

I still cannot believe that at 7 weeks (today!) it is still such a huge battle for us. I really looked at the 6 week mark as the moment of reckoning... and it was not. I am now setting my new goal for 12 weeks.. 12 weeks and Lord help me if he hasn't caught on by then? well, it just may not be worth it anymore. But I have said that before, haven't I??