Tuesday, August 24, 2010

OOh yeahhhh....

So this walking is nice. Yes yes, there are little aches and pains like my hemmies (freaking ouch) and the back of my heels (raw) and my shins (splinted) and my hips (how fucking old am I anyway?) BUT all in all its very nice to excerise again. And I realized that it has been since I left California over 6 years ago that I have engaged in any sort of aerobic activity. So I got 6 years of unused sloth muscles to overcome. Not to mention carrying around the extra 50 lbs which tend to slow me down just the tiniest bit.

SO I have been SO bad about pumping. I really think my supply is feeling the hit. When we are BF'ing good I hate to pump because he really prefers a full breast. I need to SOMEHOW convince myself of the truth, which is I WILL make enough milk to feed him at least something, and pumping can only do good rather than harm. I hate the pump. And I make any excuse I can not to get near it. And ironically, I also hate to BF ALL day because I never get a thing done. And again, will use the formula as a crutch. I am my own worst enemy now lol. I sabotage myself.

And in the back of my mind, I keep hailing this stupid domperidone as my possible saving grace, because after all, if I have LOTS of milk I can both PUMP and BF and never have to worry, right? RIGHT. *sigh*


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