Im only a little crazy...

So things have just been working themselves out I guess. I am pumping as much as possible, offering the breast to him mostly for comfort, and just letting it ride. Ironically, I find it much easier to bottle feed him at night then BF. I know that's a bit different than most BF mom's roll, but it works for us. That way he gets fed quickly and back to sleep quickly so I can pump and take advantage of that higher nighttime output. I am back to sleep within an hour of him waking up, and that's fine by me!!! He sleeps better, I sleep better, and we are happier in general. Now, if I could just break him of waking up at 6:30 am, lol.... things would be great! I would love that extra hour of sleep!

And of course, or Lord and Savior always has a plan. And I see his plan starting to come together! We got some financial news last night that is going to put even more strain on our already tedious situation. With much heartache, I must return back to work. I will try to get my job back at Wal mart working nights and weekends part time. I liked that job honestly, it was fun. I don't feel a bit bad about working again, but I am gonna miss that evening time with my boys and ESPECIALLY with my Andy. But, we must do what we must do. Gotta have money to live no matter what.
Why not get a full time job you ask?
I refuse, as does Andy, to put our kids in daycare. Not because we think we are cool, but because 1. Its too freaking expensive
2. Finding reliable people is near impossible
3. We believe the babies belong at home with their mommies.
4. Yes, we REALLY believe that babies belong with their mommies!

Also, I may get the chance to do some part time work back at Marsh helping with logs and such. This would really be awesome, as they pay well and fair and i LOVE my girls to death!

So how does this relate to BF? Well, say our BF was going along swimmingly.. and he never had a baba or formula... imagine the impact on both of us having to be forced suddenly into being separated for long hours? It would be a hard and absolutely devastating transition. Well, as it is, our nursing relationship is very similar to a working mom's. BF when we can, pump when we can, supplement when we have to. And of course, Andy can feed him without any issues whatsoever. And as good as this little man sleeps, Andy won't hardly be bothered at all for the short time I will be gone!

So, it looks as if (and should I have EVER doubted) God has been setting us up for this all along! I cannot wait for the day I RELAX and let the Zen feelings of trust in MY LORD take over before panic sets in, lol! If any of us ever reach that level of consciousness, I just don't know.