Im only a little crazy...

So I am starting to get really excited about the pregnancy now. NOT that I wasn't thrilled before, lol. But it is really becoming real now and I am starting to daydream about holding another little tiny! Plus the little flutters and bumps are making it feel so much more real too...

I am getting a little nervous about my appointment too. A month ago I had this weird lump show up behind my ear (kinda right at my hairline). The first night it was there, my neck was sore and it was painful. The next morning there was no pain at all, but it seems to be growing every day. Its not huge by any means, but still there. And, since its appearance, I have been having frequent headaches that start at my neck, kinda like the base of my skull, and climb up the left side of my head, which is the same side the lump is on. I pray it is nothing, just a cyst or something stupid like that. Lord, please let it be something insignificant. When I was 4 I had a tumor removed from my neck. It was benign, however it did cause me to lose my short term memory. Scary to think it could happen again. 4 years of memories isn't too bad, but 31? oh the very thought makes me sick.

And of course, I worry about the baby the most. If this is something serious, how will it affect the pregnancy? What if I need to have chemo, or surgery? What if I have to choose my life or the baby's'? These are choices no Mom should ever have to make! So I need to quit thinking the worst and just hope for the best. Easier said then though....